Sorry it’s been a while F. I promise I’ve been thinking of you, in fact I do pretty much nothing but. I’m somehow on the other side of Christmas without you. It was awful. I screamed on the day. By Boxing Day I was paralysed. I had to get someone else to watch the pupContinue reading “Sorry it’s been a while”
Tag Archives: suicide
Blackouts
I don’t know what to write to you today. I just know I want to speak to you. I miss you so much. Last night he had to pick me up from a random train station and I have no idea how I got there. One minute I’m in a bar chatting. Next I’m havingContinue reading “Blackouts”
The Nothingness
That’s where you are, your consciousness has ended, you experience nothing and you remember nothing. I am nothing to you now. That is what I want, the nothingness, the end. I notice online lots of people screaming for help to get rid of these thoughts but I welcome them. I don’t share them with anyoneContinue reading “The Nothingness”
Alone
Today has been a day of alone. For days now the pain has been outside of my bones, slicing through every part of me, I can’t find a way to put it back inside. I reached out to all 4 of them and him, they can usually help me take control of it but IContinue reading “Alone”
Tired
Yesterday I handed in notice on our home and my job, the last scraps of the life we shared. It brought the pain back to the surface, everything I’ve lost. Every ten minutes I remembered you were gone like it was fresh information and it crippled me the same as the first, every time. I’mContinue reading “Tired”
What you left me with 