Who Am I Without You?

After the revelations in the past few weeks I really want to let you go. I obviously never knew you so continuing my life in a state of grief for you seems ridiculous and dishonest. The problem is you’re a part of my identity now. When you were alive we were one of the strongestContinue reading “Who Am I Without You?”

Feeling Judged

There are so many expectations to being a widow. Ridiculous really given that I had no choice in the matter and it’s not what I wanted. Some of them are expectations I put on myself. I’m constantly afraid that I’ll be judged for how I behave. I won’t let anyone tag me in a pictureContinue reading “Feeling Judged”

Who Was I Living With?

I decided it was time to delete the secrets from your computer and phone. That I try and move past the betrayal. Before I did I couldn’t help but take one more look around and that’s when I found it. The darkest thing yet. You went on a fetish dating site. You used the detailsContinue reading “Who Was I Living With?”

Sorry it’s been a while

Sorry it’s been a while F. I promise I’ve been thinking of you, in fact I do pretty much nothing but. I’m somehow on the other side of Christmas without you. It was awful. I screamed on the day. By Boxing Day I was paralysed. I had to get someone else to watch the pupContinue reading “Sorry it’s been a while”

The Facts

I don’t know much for sure but all of this has been running around my head for months. This is what I do know. You told me when you were diagnosed that you had noticed something wrong with your mouth about 10 months before. When I looked in your email you had transactions with dodgyContinue reading “The Facts”

Another Punch to the Gut

Fun news today F. Right back when I found out about your secrets I attempted to follow one of the women on Instagram. Looking at other accounts I actually assumed she had died. Another tragedy. But today she accepted my follow request. She was just in hiatus. There was your secret Instagram account and emailContinue reading “Another Punch to the Gut”