Sorry it’s been a while F. I promise I’ve been thinking of you, in fact I do pretty much nothing but. I’m somehow on the other side of Christmas without you. It was awful. I screamed on the day. By Boxing Day I was paralysed. I had to get someone else to watch the pupContinue reading “Sorry it’s been a while”
Tag Archives: fear
Crippling Anxiety
You ripped the world out from under my feet 3 times in 3 months. The first was when the doctors told us it was advanced cancer and I realised all the results you had given me, the blood tests, the appointments, the decisions on your health care, the fucking mouthguard in my house were fabrications,Continue reading “Crippling Anxiety”
The Wave
The pain in my bones made its way out over night. There’s no covering it or pretending to be the old me today. I lay here for hours trying to remember your touch on my arm on your last morning. I can’t feel it anymore. I can’t feel anything but your loss. I tried toContinue reading “The Wave”
Today
Today is the 18th of October, 3 months and 10 days since I found out it was a lie, you had cancer and you were going to die. My phone reminded me of October 18th 2017, my favourite photo. You, me & the pup on an insignificant walk. Mundane to anyone that wasn’t us three.Continue reading “Today”
What you left me with 