Quitting Smoking

I’m quitting smoking. I did that once before but you started happily supplying me with cigarettes 9 months later. Seems pretty dark with everything I know now. She said she’d help me like she offered months ago. I’m glad, I gave the opportunity I had to you then. To try anything to help your pain.Continue reading “Quitting Smoking”

Who Am I Without You?

After the revelations in the past few weeks I really want to let you go. I obviously never knew you so continuing my life in a state of grief for you seems ridiculous and dishonest. The problem is you’re a part of my identity now. When you were alive we were one of the strongestContinue reading “Who Am I Without You?”

Feeling Judged

There are so many expectations to being a widow. Ridiculous really given that I had no choice in the matter and it’s not what I wanted. Some of them are expectations I put on myself. I’m constantly afraid that I’ll be judged for how I behave. I won’t let anyone tag me in a pictureContinue reading “Feeling Judged”